I fear that for many young, male Christians, their conception of manhood is similarly blind. The assumption is that true manhood in Christianity is nothing more than being a wildman who embraces adventure but cringes at responsibility. A man who welcomes mystery with open arms but buckles at the thought of leadership. A man who values being a “lone ranger” but sneers at the call to be a spiritual provider for others.Simply put, the growing pattern for young men is to imitate the passivity that is so commonplace among men in our culture. For some, it is called adultolescence—a phenomenon where men never grow up and simply become 30 and 40-year-old boys.
Men throughout the ages have struggled with passivity, but how did this recent phenomenon come about? Many answers could be given, but the following strikes at the core of the issue: We as a Church have failed to speak courageously and clearly from the Word of God on what the calling of a man is.
Growing up, I never was exhorted to become a man. I frankly did not know what defined a man. As far as I was concerned, I wanted my life to echo the old Toys-R-Us jingle: “I don’t wanna grow up; I’m a Toys-R-Us kid.” If someone were to ask me what the difference should be between a mature man and a mature woman, I would have responded with eerie silence.
As I grew older, I came to appreciate that the call for manhood found in the Bible was unmistakably clear. Being a man is taking responsibility rather than shirking one’s tasks. It is realizing that a man is called to be a spiritual provider in appropriate ways to men and women (1 Tim 3:4-5; Eph 6:4). It is acknowledging that husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the Church (Eph 5:22-33). It is also the courage to lead in a likewise manner. It is affirming that fathers are to provide physically for their families, and if they do not, they are worse than an unbeliever (1 Tim 5:8). Above all, it is the calling to grow in godliness and be zealous for God’s glory (1 Tim 4:7).
What is a man? It is certainly not a passive man, one who simply does not “wanna grow up” and spends all of his free time on the internet or Halo. It is not a bullying, tyrannical leader. Much less is it a Christianized wildman, one who loves the thrills of the outdoors and extreme sports but has no capacity to shepherd others. It is a humble, firm leader. It is a providing, protecting, loving, nurturing, God-fearing, mature man.
This is the biblical calling. Men, how shall we respond?
By: Jeremiah Scheumann
4 comments:
What should a husband do if his wife is completely against a decision he is about to make but the husband feels fully persuaded in his mind that this cetain decision is best? I'm hoping that you could shed light on this...
Amen!
Hey, my name is Zach and I participate in the group that created this blog. I also happen to be married and think that this is a very good question all couples must face at one point or another. Ultimately, more information would need to be given to answer your question, but I'll try to give some general thoughts.
The first thing a husband must do when his wife disagrees with a decision he's making, is to humble himself and seek guidance from the Lord in prayer and through the Word of God. All decisions must be vindicated by the Bible. (2 Timothy 3:16-17).
Second of all, the husband ought to take what his wife says to heart. After all, men are often times in need of a womanly perspective.
Third, the husband ought to look to godly men at his church for counsel. No one should rely on his own discernment, but should surround himself with wise men. (Proverbs 12:15, Proverbs 20:18)
If it is a major decision, there is no need rush. Patience is a must! After the Lord has verified the decision through prayer and the Bible, and through godly men, the husband must lovingly explain why he made the decision he did, and stick by it. If the husband ever argues with his wife about the decision, and does not honor his wife as the weaker vessel (1 Peter 3:7), then the wife will not respect the decision. These situations are often times resolved in how the husband acts in ATTITUDE towards his wife. He MUST love and cherish her and all her opinions, or she will not respect and obey him. And also, do not neglect to pray for your wife!!
I hope this helps! I know that there is so much more that could be said, but the main thing is that husband be focused on himself, and do whatever he can to glorify God in making the decision.
By: Zach Tarter
Thanks for responding!
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