At our most recent ‘Exploring Womanhood’ event, we discussed what it meant for us as women in Christ to have a gentle and quiet spirit. We get this term from 1 Peter 3:3-6:“Do not let your adorning be external - the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothes you wear - but let your adoring be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
These verses tell us that the characteristics of a gentle and quiet spirit are not an external adorning, but an adorning of the hidden person of the heart. This means it’s not merely how we act or what we say…but how our heart is before God. A common misconception with this term “gentle and quiet spirit” is that women ought to be gentle and quiet, therefore we cannot be outgoing, probably shouldn’t do anything too “rough” like play sports, and should not talk too loud or too much. These things might describe someone with a quiet or gentle personality, but that is not what Peter says the Lord is asking of us. The imperishable beauty that comes from a gentle and quiet spirit is one that comes from the inside out. This beauty that is “very precious” in the sight of the Lord will be visible to others as well because “out of the abundance of the heart a man speaks” (Luke 6:45). Whatever is in our hearts is going to overflow into our actions!
But what does this look like? In a talk Carolyn Mahaney gave at Celebration East in 2004, she gave the following definitions of gentle and quiet:
Gentle carries the idea of humility, not thinking one is too important, that results in patiently accepting whatever comes one’s way…especially wrong doing from others.
Quiet carries the idea of calmness and tranquility that delivers one from both selfish assertiveness and anxious striving.
She brought much clarity to my understanding of the term with this description: “A gentle and quiet spirit is an inner disposition of humble contentment and quiet tranquility, rooted in an unwavering trust in God and His purpose.” She sums it up as “A steadfast peace, because of a steadfast trust in God.” We can find this in Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep in perfect peace, him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You.” This gentle and quiet spirit is not so much an action as it is an “inner disposition.” Do you trust that God is who He says He is and that He’s going to do what he says He’s going to do? God promises in Romans 8:28 that “in all things He works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” If we trust that God truly is working all things to our good, then we don’t have to respond sinfully when we are sinned against, and we don’t have to strive anxiously when the boy we like isn’t pursuing us. 1 Peter 1:6-7 tells us that God brings us through trials to refine us and make us more like Himself, and although we can’t see at the time how this painful situation is good for us, we can have a steadfast peace because our trust is rooted in a steadfast God!
Now you might be thinking, “This is all well and good on my computer screen, but how do I even begin to remain faithful to this overwhelming calling?” Thankfully, we’ve been given an example in our Savior Jesus Christ who “committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth. When they hurled their insults at Him, He did not retaliate; when He suffered, He made no threats. Instead, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by His wounds we have been healed” 1 Peter 2:21-24. Christ died and bore our sins so that we would die to sin! He is the one who makes it possible to not lash out at the person who cuts you off on the road or freak out at your sister for stealing your clothes for the umpteenth time. When Christ was insulted and experienced injustice, He entrusted Himself to the One who judges justly. We in turn must continually entrust ourselves to Christ and look to His grace and mercy for our supply.
Here is a link to Carolyn Mahaney's talk on a gentle and quiet spirit. You can download it for free at the Sovereign Grace Ministries Store!
A-Woman's-Beauty-Regimen
Our next 'Exploring Womanhood' event will be Tuesday, October 28th at 7:00 pm. If you are interested in attending or have any questions please e-mail me at em2006@msn.com!
Blessings,
Emily Tarter
5 comments:
Great post, Emily! I needed to hear this once again. Thanks!
Emily:
What a great post.... this is DADT; The other example of meek and quiet is in the text you quoted from. "like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."
I marvel at Sarah. Even though she was put into the hands of another man (on 2 ocassions), she still submitted with a meek and quite spirit; and during that situation, she did not "give way to fear."
Abraham's lack of leadership jeopordized her safety, her purity, their future, God's promises, and much more. And apparently, she did not give way to fear, but she put her hope in God to protect her.
I don't think there is anything more difficult than following someone, submitting to someone, or being lead by someone who does everything he can to protect himself at the expense of those underneath him. That is exactly what Abraham did. And Sarah was able by God's grace to look past Abraham to God. She is one of the holy women in the past who put her hope in God.
I would say that women have the more difficult role. Women have an impossible role. And only by His grace can they fulfill their role.
Wow Dad, thank you for bringing that point out! I never really thought about all that took place with Sarah and Abraham and she still submitted with and gentle and quiet spirit...by the grace of God! What an encouragement and a warning to us wives who might be tempted to be less than we ought because we married a sinner!
Thanks for your thoughts! Keep them coming!
~Emily
Debt,
You said "I don't think there is anything more difficult than following someone, submitting to someone, or being lead by someone who does everything he can to protect himself at the expense of those underneath him."
It seems to me that you are advocating that a woman should stay in a harmful and abusive situation in order to be obedient to God. Is this correct?
Certainly you must believe there is a point at which a woman must make the decision to protect herself from danger.
Please explain your thoughts on this.
Dear anonymous:
Regarding the statement:
"I don't think there is anything more difficult than following someone, submitting to someone, or being lead by someone who does everything he can to protect himself at the expense of those underneath him."
I meant this to stand exactly as it was written. And this statement is true in any subordinate relationship. It could apply to a boss of a company who is only out for his self-interest, and his decisions and behavior affects those who work under his authority. That kind of boss is hard to submit to.
We are seeing this, currently, in our politicl and economic system. The decisions that are beind made at levels far above the average citizen are affecting all of us in a negative way. It is hard to submit to our government, but we are commanded to.
There isn't any mention in what I wrote about abusive or harmful situations.
If a husband is misspending money, it will affect his wife and children. If a husband misuses his time and spends an inordinate amoutn of time on himself to the neglect of his famlily, it will affect his wife and children. If a husband ingnores his wife, does not live with her in an understanding way, is insensative to her, and spends his time simply working and sitting in front of the T.V., surely that will have an affect on his wife and children. That particular husband is very difficult to submit to. And those who are in those situations must look to God to meet their needs. To be honest, even women who are married to husbands who are giving marriage "their best efforts" must look to God to meet their needs because all women are married to sinners and sinners sin. Sinners are self-centered, self indulgent, pre-occupied with self, and look to themselves first. That is why marriage is so hard.
These are the things I was thinking about when I wrote the above quoted paragraph.
I think we have to be very careful drawing dogmatic conclusions from the example of Sarah. Peter is commenting on her meek and quiet spirit. And the fact that she "put her hope in God." Peter did not say that if your husband gives you to another man, you must submit to him. She looked past Abraham's poor leadership and she looked to God to meet her needs. That is his point.
The Scripture is not commanding women to stay in relationships where they are being physically or sexually abused. There are biblcal grounds to leave, there are biblical grounds to confront, and there are biblical grounds to protect oneself.
There are elements of common sense that often are lacking in our daily lives. All through Scripture, we see individuals making decisions to protect themselves from harm. Paul fled from one city being let down in a basket to protect himself from being killed. He used his Roman citizenship to protect himself from a beating. Joseph fled with Mary and baby Jesus to protect his family from Herod. Common sense tells us that if a wife is being abused, she should protect herself and her children.
I hope that helps.
DADT
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