Manhood and Responsibility

There is a difference between being macho and manly.

The macho man looks to himself and seeks to justify his manhood in superficial exploits. Whether it is athleticism, charisma, or worldly success, the macho man begs for respect with self-glorifying acts. On the other hand, the manly man looks to God to be conformed into the image of Christ. Manliness is Christ-likeness and displays humility, service, and love.

At the very center of a godly, mature man is a desire to embrace responsibility and to lead lovingly. It is not enough merely to accept responsibility begrudgingly.

From the very beginning, responsibility is distinctively laid upon man. God not only gave Adam a leadership role to provide for and protect Eve within the garden, he also held him responsible when he failed in his task. It was Adam who was told not to eat from the tree (Gn 2:17); when Eve was being tempted by the serpent, Adam stood passively by her side and followed her into sin (3:6). Although it was Eve who first took of the fruit, God addressed Adam individually and held him primarily responsible for the sin (3:9).

Christian man, do you fear God? You will one day be the leader of your family, so do not make the same mistake as Adam, failing to lead and love responsibly. Just as we see God addressing Adam for his sin, so also men will principally be addressed by God for their actions. At the judgment, you will stand before God to give an account of the state of your family, and you will be held primarily responsible for how you lead. Now obviously, Eve and the serpent were also addressed in the individual curses, but we as men should be sobered by the responsibility that comes with the call to lead.

Not only did God hold Adam responsible for the Fall, we all owe our sinful condition to Adam. Paul testifies, “Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned” (Rom 5:12). As Adam failed in his task so will we, but Paul also gives us good news: “For as by the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous” (5:19). The failure to lead as we ought is a sin issue, but Christ came to redeem sinners. Therefore, grace enables us to keep striving to lead lovingly and well with faith-inspired obedience.

John Eldridge, author of the best-seller book “Wild at Heart,” claims that our culture has tamed men. He argues that men need to claim once again their wild spirit for adventure, but he almost completely glosses over the call for men to embrace responsibility. This sense of responsibility, however, is at the very crux of manhood. I fear that far too many young men read his book as an excuse for their boyish immaturity rather than growing up into practicing disciplined, God-honoring, and Christ-exalting behavior. Sadly, our nation, our churches, and our families are desperate for men like this.

There is a lie, however, that most of us have believed throughout our teen years and beyond. That is, who we are and what we do now has no effect on what kind of person we will be when we “grow up.” Men, you cannot flip the switch in becoming a responsible husband on your wedding day. If God has called you to glorify him as a married man in the future, that means embracing responsibility in the present.

To have truly heard this message, one must now feel a certain sense of fear and trepidation. By God’s grace though, this will not be a paralyzing but a holy fear which leads to right living. How are you handling your responsibilities? Your grades, your job, and your friends provide an excellent indicator of where you stand. Be faithful in these tasks as a single man; only then should you take on the responsibility of a wife and, God-willing, children. The next generation will be better off if we rise up as godly, responsible men now.